The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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