I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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