i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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