He kissed a someone with a penis
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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