Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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