i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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