You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
