i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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