well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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