Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
