What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
