We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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