Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
