dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize