I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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