She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
