Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize