D3 body, D1 cock
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
