I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
