Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize
