dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
