He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
