You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
