which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
