Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
two words...techno handjob
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
