You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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