it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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