Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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