I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
