He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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