I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
