would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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