i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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