i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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