if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
