So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
