Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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