You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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