Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
