this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
