Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just google imaged poop.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
