Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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