i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
