ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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