Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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