Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
