Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
