PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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