Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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