Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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