So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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