I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize