what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
