ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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